An unwanted child

A haibun-style short story

Our bi-monthly brunch is a sacred ritual. Shalini and I always meet on a Sunday. We both love trying new cuisines and cafes. I do the research and she waits for me at the designated place.

A few hours to forget our busy lives — her work commitments that take her across the globe and my attempts to balance family and writing. It’s a time for sharing news and gossip, shedding a tear or two, and reminiscing.

Shalini loves to talk of the “old days.” She often says something like, “Do you remember the time your brother climbed that guava tree and was stuck there? Do you remember how we tried to help him?”

At times, “Do you remember how we couldn’t wait to eat the cake your mother baked? I would kill for another slice.”

Or “Do you remember when your grandma chased us out of the kitchen?”

Yes, we have hundreds of memories from childhood. And many are with my family. There is only one such question I can ask. About a distant aunt who makes strawberry jam.

I do not speak about how her dad became a stranger overnight, when we were ten.

I do not speak of the dark evening at her home — the bowl of peanuts, our attempts to create a cartoon strip, and the sudden fight.

I remember the sound of breaking glass, the loud screams, Shalini suddenly getting up and running out, and me shivering under her bed.

I remember hearing Shalini plead.

I remember her mother’s parting words,

“I never wanted you. That choice was taken from me. I was born for greater things. You ruined enough opportunities. Not this time.”

I remember every tear she shed after losing both of her parents that night.

Her anger.

Her feelings of worthlessness.

And her struggle to claw her way out of that abyss of agony.

She sees my eyes cloud with the dark memories. She reaches out and touches my arm. A glance conveys all the thoughts. It always does.

A hundred fragments,

Pieces from a shattered heart,

Not the cracked mirror.

This story was inspired by a friend’s post on LinkedIn about the changes to abortion law and its potential impact on children.